Day 47 – Just stay busy…
Yesterday I wrote that “you are never alone” and that is true. Having said that, and this may sound weird, but sometimes in Long Island I felt very lonely. It’s true that God is always with me, I get that, but years ago I read about a little boy’s prayer telling God that sometimes he just wished God had “real arms so he could feel a hug”.
When I finally got set up in Long Island, I realized it was the first time I had ever lived alone. I had been with my family growing up, I had been in a college dorm with football players, I had lived at the home near the ECU campus with other guys, I had been in my training for a year in Ohio in a type of dorm set up there, but never ALONE.
While it may sound strange, especially since I am here every day spilling my guts, I am naturally a private person and I spend a lot of time in my head, but I do like people around. Now, when I first came to Long Island, I was totally alone when I went to bed when I woke up, and all during the day. My only salvation was to get out at night and visit people at their home fellowships…and I visited somewhere almost every night!
There was one exception. I had purchased, now get this, a black and white TV with rabbit ears (which is an in-the-room antenna, to kids today I’m sure that sounds like I lived in caveman times). You had to physically turn the knob on the TV to change the channel, imagine that??? Anyway, I never really used it except on Thursday night when a new show had come out called “Kung Fu” with David Carradine.
The story was about a little boy who trained in Martial Arts in China and then came to the wild west of America and had many adventures in a culture that was not his own. I had always loved martial arts since Mama had some Karate fighters on her Saturday morning show. Later I’ll tell you about my own journey to finally get my black belt, but now back to today’s story.
On Thursday night I would get one beer, remember my funds were low, a bag of Doritos, and watch Kung Fu…it was fabulous.
I was engaged at the time, but my fiancé, who had been in the same training I was in, was working in Louisville, KY. We called and talked most nights, but I only saw her physically 3 times that year before we were married. So, to say the least…I was lonely, and I really struggled with it.
All of the people in Long Island were wonderful to me. They loved me, accepted me, and were very kind to me, but I didn’t date, obviously, and being alone in the house I rented in Northport Long Island was rough.
In the long run, it was very good for me because it forced me to get closer to God, to learn quietness in my mind, and to be thankful for the times I was with people. I learned a lot of wonderful things that year and would not have traded it for anything.
The following year, I was married, and pretty much from then until now, I’ve always been with someone. One of the big lessons I learned, was that we need to get used to being uncomfortable at times. We don’t always have to find ways to get rid of the discomfort. We might even see it as “pain”, but it’s just something different that we are not used to, so learn to sit in it for a while and get used to it.
Transition and growth are never easy. From pushing our way out of the birth channel, to learning to deal with adversity, and learning to understand others growing up, life lessons are not always easy but absolutely necessary.
Recently I read about trees that were grown in a biosphere pod and not exposed to outside climate changes. They were beautiful on the outside, but easily toppled over because they had no roots. Since they didn’t have to deal with strong winds or really any adversity, they never developed a strong root system. The same is true for us. What we think of as adversity or discomfort could very well be exactly what we need to develop ourselves more deeply in life and reach our full potential.
Even though I was lonely at times, as I have said, God was always there for me and that year really helped me build things in my life that I have used ever since.
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